Featuring vocals from Lord Willthur, King of Raps, Purveyor of Campy Accents, Master of the Verses. Lyrics included below.
Instrumental for those who want it: https://www.ptweb.me/play/fZqR/L6p5KYH1XhoJMcrmC48nYspbX2BI0tLO0wE6
=== LYRICS ===
~ Verse 1: Ghosts ~
On a dark and stormy Autumn night,
May land alight with spooky frights.
Banshees wail and the werewolves howl,
While ravens upon their perches scowl.
But the cream of the crop, the best of the best,
Are the souls that haven’t yet gone to rest.
If you’re up against us just admit defeat,
‘Cause a vengeful ghost just can’t be beat!
The haunted halls of the world agree,
It’s ghosts and ghouls they want to see!
Who’d want to tussle with a cloaked-up freak,
When a plain white sheet gets folks to shriek?
Or an apparition that’s long forgotten,
A festering ghoul, all sick and rotten.
You just can’t touch our ethereal style,
So crawl in your coffin, lay down ‘awhile!
You vampires seem to take us for fools,
But when we look at you, we just see tools.
What’s up with that outfit? Dropped out of theater?
I can find these fibers on a wifebeater.
Your lameness has me waxing lyrical,
And your accent’s so fake it must be satirical.
Forget the chance of out-rapping us,
So crawl back into your Transylv-anus, Bitch.
~ Verse 2: Vampires ~
You ghosts have lyrics that are pretty fire,
But you’ll never measure up to a real vampire!
We stalk the night to catch our prey,
When we grab a bite it’s a grotesque display.
Our supernatural power is second to none,
We’d be flat out overpowered if there wasn’t the sun.
So take a seat and kick back, as we bust out this rhyme,
‘Cause the beats we’re laying down are simply sublime.
Ever seen Rocky Horror? It’s quite a show,
You’ve got less class than Tim Curry’s toe!
And who are YOU to call me pale and weak?
Dude your lyrics are whiter than Mount Everest's peak.
Yeah your sound is broke, like another white rappa:
The kind of guy that rhymes orange with banana.
A ghost just can’t win against a magical being,
So before you make me angry you’d best be leaving.
You might walk through walls, disappear and fly,
But that ain’t that unique, ‘cause so can I!
But can YOU live forever? Nah, you're already dead.
And you’re crying in Hell while I’m lying in bed.
My crib has a tower and a drawbridge too,
You live in a shack, that’s what drug addicts do.
Now this verse is over, so you’d best skedaddle,
‘Cause I think you just lost this PxTone rap battle!
"You live in a shack, that's what drug addicts do"